College Light Bulb Jokes

College University blogger

Light bulb jokes have been around for quite some time and have enveloped every profession, race, and niche group in existence. University and college rivals have unleashed a plethora of light bulb jokes against rivals to support their own school spirit.

It is widely held that the light bulb joke is an American construction originally used with the Polish as the brunt of the joke. These racial light bulb jokes were popular in the U.S. in the 1960s and 1970s but it has been found that other racial groups used the same jokes around the same time with another group of people on the receiving end of the joke. Some examples are:

British target the Irish
Russians target Moldavians and Ukrainians
Ukrainians target Russians
The Spanish target those who live in Lepe
Norwegians and Finns target the Swedish
Swedes target the Norwegians
The Dutch target Belgians
Indians target Pakistanis

Soon afterward the light bulb joke spread from its racial box to encompass professions, organizations, and finally colleges and universities adapted the joke into their rivalries.

What is a Light Bulb Joke?
The light bulb joke is of a sort called an endless variation joke. In theory, the joke can be extended as infinitely as language allows. The punch line of the joke is always insulting to the subject of the joke. The general setup is as follows:

Q: How many [insert subject here] does it take to change a light bulb?
A: [any number, 0 to millions]. [Explanation for the quantity provided.]

The comedy of the joke comes from highlighting real or stereotypical feature of the subject group and can be modified by:

1. Quantity of people needed to change the light bulb.
2. Duration of the light bulb change.
3. Using a double entendre by using a sexual definition of the word screw. (English language)
4. Using the word change to refer to the subject of the joke, a cultural factor, or a social factor instead of the light bulb.

Common Ivy League College and popular University Light Bulb Jokes

How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They dont have electricity in Hanover.

How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change the light bulb and five to perform an interpretive dance about it.

How many Connecticut College students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the light bulb and one to complain that if this were a better school, the light wouldnt have burnt out.

How many Amherst students does it take to change a light bulb?
Thirteen. One to change the bulb and the others to form an a cappella group to capture the event in song.

How many Princeton students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to mix martinis while the other calls an electrician.

How many Kenyon students does it take to change a light bulb?
We dont know. We couldnt find the campus.

How many Boston University students does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the bulb and the other two to check his math homework.

How many Brown students does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to change the light bulb and ten to share the experience.

How many Cornell students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the light bulb and one to crack under pressure.

How many Penn students does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she gets six credits for doing it.

How many Yale students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. There is nothing in New Haven worth seeing.

How many Tufts students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the light bulb and another to proclaim how it was done as well as an Ivy Leaguer.

How many Georgetown students does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change the light bulb, one to report to Congress about the progress made, and two to throw the bad bulb at students of American University.

How many Columbia students does it take to change a light bulb?
Seventy-six. One changes the light bulb, fifty protest the bulbs right to not change, and twenty-five hold a counter-protest.

How many Williams students does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them. Being snowed in, everyone jumps at something to do.

How many Bard students does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but shell only change it if its an alternative light bulb.

Other College Light Bulb Jokes

How many MIT students does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to design a nuclear light bulb that never burns out, one to figure out how to power all of Boston using the nuclear light bulb, one to install it, and one to write a computer application to control the wall switch.

How many Vassar students does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to screw the light bulb and nine to support its sexual orientation.

How many Middlebury students does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change the light bulb and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit for the changing.

How many Stanford students does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, dude.

How many Oberlin students does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change it and two to make a bong out of the old one.

How many Duke students does it take to change a light bulb?
An entire frat if you can find someone in one sober enough to get the job done.

How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a light bulb?
Eighteen. Each one is smart enough to change the light bulb but they are all shaking too much from the overload of stress.

How many Wesleyan students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Wesleyan students are boycotting GE as part of the military-industrial complex.

How many Boston College students does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to throw a party to celebrate not screwing it in upside down.

How many Reed students does it take to change a light bulb?
One and she doesn’t even need a ladder since she is wearing her platform Birkenstocks.

The College Light Bulb Joke Never Ends
This listing is only an example of some of the college light bulb jokes out there. A great many more exist and many use the same punch line while changing only the subject of the joke. It can be a great party game to try to make up as many as you can about your own college rival.

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Finding The Perfect College Or University

College University blogger

This time of year high school seniors are stressing over this question: Which college or university is my perfect school?

Should I join a student body of tens of thousands, or do I want a school only twice the size of my high school? How far from home do I want to be? Are the dorm rooms nice? Is the food good? What support is available for freshman? Is the weather colder or warmer than home?

The more a student frets about finding the perfect college, the more the student loses sight of what college is really supposed to accomplish-a bachelor’s degree and a diploma. To alleviate this stress (and make home a lot more fun) use the following ideas.

First look at colleges that offer the major or career that interests your student. Even if the college has the best dorms in the country, if your student can’t study his or her passion, then those dorm rooms won’t matter.

Next, consider the academics. Will your student be at the top of the class, in the middle or near the bottom? Does it matter to your student? Can your student perform well in a huge, auditorium style class or does your student need a smaller setting with personalized attention from the professor?

Can the family afford the costs? The list price is just that, the list price. Using the financial aid forms, the list price may not be what you pay. If the school seems perfect in every way except the list price, apply and see what financial aid is offered. Many students have been able to attend a more expensive private college paying less out-of-pocket than the out-of-pocket costs at a public, state supported institution. The idea here is to apply and see what financial aid is offered in your award letter.

Finally, consider the college’s or university’s graduation rate. Students attending college do so with the expectation of earning a bachelor’s degree after investing thousands of dollars and thousands of hours in learning. Unfortunately, not all colleges and universities provide this diploma.

Currently, fewer than 60% of incoming freshman will graduate with a bachelor’s degree in six or fewer years. Studies have shown that characteristics of a college such as private or public, large or small, elite or average, do not impact the graduation rate as much as practices within the college or university. The graduation rate for an institution can help determine if your investment will result in that college diploma.

For those stressed out parents and students looking for the perfect school, please realize there is no “perfect” school. Many colleges and universities will more than adequately provide the education, networking, and fun desired. Choose your college or university in April using your best information. Buy the sweatshirt, love the dorms, join a club and make this choice your “perfect” college or university.

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Study Abroad Canada Top Colleges And Universities Featuring Overseas Education Programs

College University blogger

By using globalization at its premier level, the competition for an remarkable occupation in worldwide businesses has become quite rigid. The majority of the international firms now opt to select few individuals with experience with working with various ethnicity, superior instructional value, international work ethics, and holds leading-edge degree from the primary schools throughout the world.

Canada is among the strongest magnets for worldwide schooling simply because of its superb instructional method and also cutting-edge global courses tremendously adaptable with the digital era. Many overseas learners now are searching for study abroad Canada programs to boost their possibility of landing an encouraging occupation in the worldwide arena.

Mainly, the Canadian Bureau for International Education (CBIE) is requested by the government to develop the countrys overseas associations via overseas learning. It implements government initiatives like grants for international learners. Meanwhile, the Association of Universities and Colleges of Canada (AUCC) functions as the voice of educational institutions and implements endeavors as well as self-regulation endeavors in making certain the standard of worldwide learning in the nation.

Listed below are the top universities and colleges that include study abroad Canada programs for international learners.

1. McGill University
Montreal, Quebec

QS World University Ranking 2012/2013: 18
The very best university in Canada, McGill University helps worldwide schooling with more than 300 programs. It associates with government and private institutions to enhance its programs for overseas learners. The majority of foreign students studying in McGill University are taking up state-of-the-art study abroad Canada programs at Desautels Faculty of Management, McGill School of Environment, Faculty of Medicine, and Schulich School of Music.

2. University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario

QS World University Ranking 2012/2013: 19

University of Toronto is one of the best academic and also investigation amenities in Canada, providing outstanding foreign students having a highly intellectual setting. It is the home of about 10,000 international students from over 150 international locations. U of T provides different resources as well as programs to aid students to adjust to the Canadian culture. It typically delivers services through the Centre for International Experience about health care insurance, immigration services, lodging, and more.

3. University of British Colombia
Vancouver, British Columbia

QS World University Ranking 2012/2013: 45

The University of British Columbia is one of Canadas distinguished research universities. It houses over 54,000 college students not merely from Canada but also from 140 nations around the globe to its two principal campuses – Vancouver and Okanagan. UBC has different innovative study abroad Canada programs, integrated by having an global standing for analysis and teaching, provide international students with the competencies and knowledge essential for the modern globalization.

Some other Canadian educational institutions that come with top-notch education and learning for international students are University of Alberta, Montreal University, McMaster University, Queen’s University, University of Waterloo, The University of Western Ontario and Simon Fraser University.

International College Of Financial Planning Delhi

College University blogger

ICOFP Delhi offers an Industry integrated curriculum, directed to make the student productive on job from Day 1. The platform of International College of Financial Planning offers you a chance to learn under the able guidance of eminent world class faculty comprising of both academicians and industry experts. Upon completion you will enter the industry with multiple certifications inbuilt into the program. International College of Financial Planning offers an inbuilt internship program provides the opportunity to apply classroom learnings to real-world organizations before actually entering the corporate world.

The city campus environment teaches the students to be a professional not from the day they join the first job, but from the day they join the ICOFP college! It lays great stress on the overall personality development through involvement in various student clubs such as the Placements, Research etc., extracurricular activities and other leadership opportunities.

International College of Financial Planning Delhi is proud to offer an access to our very own, dedicated Career Management Center that has been ensuring 100 percent Placements since the inception of the program and helping the Alumni in their career progression. As a student, you benefit from the unique Mentorship Program: an opportunity to learn under the guidance of Alumni. Students are paired with an alumni, means a corporate professional based on the area of interest. This provides the insights and experience deemed essential to face the corporate realities. As this ICOFP college is promoted by Bajaj Capital Group, naturally it has a deep, industry alignment with the financial services industry.

The students who graduate from the International College of Financial Planning Delhi, can look forward to multiple career opportunities across the financial sector and allied industries in business and management consulting, KPOs among many others. You get access to a world class, industry relevant curriculum which is updated every 6 months, where knowledge is imparted via a world class teaching methodology.

Abbey Road Helps Students Stand Out In College Admissions

College University blogger

Abbey Road is dedicated to enhancing students college applications and preparation through an array of programs.

Abbey Roads College Prep program at Emerson College in downtown Boston hones writing skills, prepares students for tests and exposes students to real-life college issues.

In the College Prep program, students take SAT prep courses, begin crafting their personal essays and get one-on-one college admissions mentoring from guidance professionals, while enjoying a pre-college living experience.

The city of Boston boasts some of the nations most prestigious and innovative colleges and universities and is the ideal location for anyone interested in college admissions preparation, said Abbey Road managing director and founder Dr. Arthur Kian. Students completing this program do not simply produce one-time results; they are given the tools to change their daily study habits and preparatory approach for recurring and lasting success.

Students enroll in The Princeton Reviews daily SAT prep course and take elective courses in college essay writing and college admissions.

The rigorous curriculum is enhanced by targeted workshops and seminars on issues like selecting an undergraduate major and figuring out which freshman core curriculum to choose.

The program staff is comprised of current college and high school guidance counselors with five to seven years experience in college counseling. Many staff members have SAT and ACT tutoring experience, degrees in English or experience tutoring English, so that they can help students prepare for application essays and standardized tests. Staff members closely monitor student progress through mentoring sessions and one-on-one tutoring.

College campus visits to Harvard, Amherst, Wellesley, Hampshire, MIT, Bentley, Boston University, Boston College, Yale, Brandeis and Babson compliment daily coursework.